I am concerned…

I think I may have sleep apnea because I snort myself awake on my commuter train almost everyday. It sucks the worst when I open my eyes and people are giggling – don’t they care that I almost just died?

If I do have sitting up apnea does that mean I have lying down apnea? Do you have to sleep in a sleep lab to determine if you have it? Do they watch you sleep? I find that creepy. What if I, you know … toot? Oh my god I’d die.

I can’t bring that oxygenator or transducer or whatever it’s called machine on the train though anyway because I like to sit in the quiet zone. Imagine I sit down and pull out that machine? Hungh, whoosh, hungh, woosh. It’d be a lynch mob. These commuters are very unforgiving.

I bet they see me coming though, just like I see them. These strangers I spend over 300 hours with a year. I bet they call me “snores a lot” or “Snorty McSnorerson” or worse.

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