Relax already

We went away for the night recently to a cheesy family hotel with an indoor water park and playground and family friendly dining. Basically Mecca for kids.

We had a great time. We came, we swam, we conquered. We left covered in chlorine and 3 out 4 of us slept on the way home.

The only thing I struggled with was the other parents. Almost all of them were so hard on their kids. I saw a mom punish her child for being scared of going down a slide and making her (the mom) stand there too long. One set of parents told their almost three year old “Gavin, remember to share now…” before my kids had even got in the pool.

I view my role as a mom as a watchful bystander in my kids lives. I just watch them. That’s all. I encourage them to make good choices and ask them to reconsider when they are not. I offer them options and help them understand the consequences of their choice. I cheer them on or redirect when needed. The only “rules” at my house are:

If you hit, you sit

It only fun if its fun for everyone

Everyone deserves to be listened to

I wish these moms would let their kids just be. I watched two sisters playing happily and the mom yelled at the one to stop throwing her shoe around, thus ending their game. I felt sad for those sisters. One girl was climbing on the play structure and yelled out to her mom “look mom, I’m being so careful”. Sigh.

I feel strongly that we underestimate kids and spend far too much time and energy talking at them, telling them what to do or discouraging them. Maybe your kid would surprise you, give them a chance. Maybe Gavin would have shared or maybe not but that would have been between him and my kids. I do know for sure they would have worked it out.

At one point a mom was asking her kid not to splash. At a water park. She looked at me sheepishly after her kid splashed my kid and I wanted to splash her.

I want to talk to these moms, I am craving connection and friendship as much as anybody but I’m not connecting. I wish I could find a way to encourage the moms to sit back, relax and for the love of Pete stop saying “be careful”. Seriously, that’s a useless thing to say.

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That time I punched my brother in the face

We had this psychopath bus driver who must’ve enjoyed the sound of children fighting and crying rather than laughing and singing and having fun. The rule was you had to sit with your sibling rather than your friends.

I had this major crush on my co-bus patroller and he sat with his sister and I with my brother. One day out of the blue my brother says “Chinese, Japanese, dirty knees, look at these!” And lifts my shirt and shows the love of my life my little pointy bee sting new boobs.

So, naturally, I punched him in the nose and made him bleed.

The lessons I learned that day were:

Boys in grade seven get a bad rep because this boy kindly lied and told me he wasn’t even looking (even though I knew he was – and did).

Little brothers are the worst.

Even though he did a horrible, epic-ly embarrassing thing I still felt terrible that I made him bleed.

That became the bench mark for embarrassing things so from then on all embarrassing things are measured based on surviving that event and none have yet to top it so I no longer get embarrassed easily.

I like people

One of the most rewarding things about blogging has been reading other people’s blogs. I have followed a few over the years but I wasn’t often getting the authenticity or the power that some of these posts have.

I love to read and my favourite novels are the observational type. You are dropped in the middle of these characters lives and just watch and read and the facts and events are presented without bias or judgment.

I now spend time laughing, crying and most importantly thinking about these posts. Sometimes I leave a comment and sometimes I have no words. I read about their loves and losses and regrets and anger and I am moved.

Teach me about life, make me decide my position on things and then make me look at it from another angle. Remind me of the things I am taking for granted and teach me how to let things go. Anger me so I can decide why I don’t agree with you.

If you were wondering if anyone is listening or if anyone cares, I am and I do.

I used to collect frog figurines but now I collect stories and feelings.

And magnets.

I wish I

was more domesticated.

had more control over my emotions.

had better time management skills.

was more fulfilled.

could find kick ass high heals that were ridiculously comfortable.

had more patience.

felt less awkward talking to strangers.

could think of something funny to blog about.

Sigh…

mommyhood: first few weeks on the job

Happy Mother’s Day!!!

gorgemess

So as it turns out being the caretaker to a newborn ain’t easy, seeing as neither of you know what the hell he wants (is there an app for that yet??).

People don’t like to tell you the truth about the first few weeks, simply claiming they “forgot” as it was blurred by the bliss and miracle of this new angel (insert eyeroll)… I’m thinking it’s simply a front made to protect you from any premature fear.

And I’m not here to burst any bubbles, I in love with our lil dude… but let’s get real. Assuming you had any kind of life before, this is one hell of an adjustment.

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SIDENOTE:
If you’re toying with the idea of a baby, make sure you’ll have TIME and INFINITE amounts of patience. Or marry a billionaire and have a Mary Poppins team.

Things to Expect:

You will contemplate suicide within the first week. Probably in the…

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