Wish you were here

Once in a while I am presented with these alternate realities that maybe could have been my life. You know: exotic travel, dream job, marriage that keeps it spark 24/7.

Why do I sometimes feel like I missed out or need something in order to be happy?

I know for me deciding to be happy has been tremendously helpful. I do my best not to watch life through my phone’s 3.5″ screen and take happy breaks and have dance parties or go outside or spend a few minutes getting to know the people in my life better.

I like doing things, really anything, so if you were interested in taking archery or bullfighting courses or dining in the dark (that’s a thing – look it up) I’m your girl.

But still I sometimes lack fulfillment and I used to think, oh poor me, I’ll feel better when the kids are older or when I’ll wear smaller pants or have more money.

But now I think that’s all bullshit. I feel bad because I’m not doing enough for myself or my family or the world. If you think big maybe the small problems won’t have a chance to creep in.

Or what if I had been born in a country or time ravaged by war or was born into a religion, colour or tribe that was persecuted just for existing. What if I was scared to be me? What if I lived in a place that was so scary I wouldn’t have to spend a small fortune going to amusement parks or spend a night hiding behind a pillow watching scary movies?

I live in a beautiful place and am so lucky and there is so much more I have to give so I’m not going to waste time feeling bad anymore.

P.s. This blog will return to being funny.

P.p.s this post was inspired by some of the books we’ve been reading in our book club such as The Poisonwood Bible – Barbara Kingsolver, Little Bee – Chris Cleave and many others also it was inspired by some Facebook friends who post lovely snapshots of their lives that are so different from mine.

P.p.s. I think my problems are bullshit, not your problems. I love Ash Beckham and fully support the Hard = Hard message.

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