Real talk

I can’t wait to retire and move into a retirement residence. Seriously. It’s my life plan. I already tell my kids I’m only in it for the grand kids. I’m going to do bridge on Mondays, Aqua fit Tuesdays, volunteer Wednesdays, Zumba lite on Fridays (lite – so as not to throw my back out). All meals served. Surrounded by my peers. Sounds amazing. When I was a kid I used to go stay with my Meme (grandma) for a week in the summer and it was fun. We used to meet her friends at the IGA plaza and they would each take turns bitching and moaning for a bit then they’d rip on all the old biddies they didn’t like from their various lives then we’d go eat lunch at the diner then take a nap. Eat dinner after nap, drink iced tea and watch between 4 and seven hours of television at almost full volume. Also I love drama, real or imagined, so I can’t wait to sit around with my crew and throw some shade around at all the other blue hairs “Look at her, thinking her shit doesn’t stink cause she can still drive… Bitch” and “I don’t care that she might have dementia, I’m still not sitting at her table on euchre night. Cheating is cheating.”


One thought on “Real talk

  1. chicken soup says:

    Remind me not to go into retirement living with you!! (Just in case in case I’m the biddy with dementia cheating at euchre, or heaven forbid – still driving!) lol.

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